The following may not sit well with some people but I know that I am not a victim of cancer. It is my belief that I manifested this disease as a drastic way to shift me out of harmful habits. The following is my personal view of the situation and is in no way related to anyone but myself. So in my opinion, why did I get cancer?
Here are some basics about me. I am 42 years old, married to a unique and wonderful woman. We live in Southern California, both work for a local non profit and have a strong background in alternative health.
Before my cancer diagnosis I lived what I thought was a healthy life. I ate reasonably well, followed a personalized supplement program, I was never sick and had a great deal of energy.
Looking back with a different perspective, I realize that I rarely gave myself time to relax. I went from one activity to the next all day long until I ended up crashing and going to sleep. When things didn’t go my way, I was quick to blame everyone around me. This was something I did almost automatically without really catching it. I took no responsibility for my lack of happiness and lived with what I see now as quite a bit of repressed emotions and fear. It’s no wonder I ended up manifesting this cancer. I was not able to listen to my feelings so I needed something big to stop me in my tracks and give me a reality check. Basically I needed to make a change and grow or start over in another life.
Sacrificing my feelings to avoid conflict
I had become an expert at ignoring my gut feelings and going with the strongest opinions, all to avoid conflict. I had a true fear of confrontation and reluctantly adjusted my behavior as required to keep as much peace as possible.
While I can see many positives in what I am living, I could certainly have made different choices earlier on and avoided this for myself and especially for my loved ones who got dragged into this without any say. While I have a new awareness and understanding of what caused this cancer, I know I still have wrong beliefs and negative recurring thoughts to clean up.
As I write this, I appreciate this experience. I feel I am on my way to breaking through old self imposed limits. I am excited to see just what it’s like to live being in touch with my feelings, following my inner guide and living a full life.
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